Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 6)

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Love makes the world go ‘round? Not at all; whiskey makes it go ‘round twice as fast.

(1883–1972) British writer, cultural commentator & Scottish nationalist

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness… from all the free drinks.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer

Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's the occasion?
Byrne: I was sober.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

Oh my God, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.

(1547 – 1616) Spanish novelist, poet & playwright

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Drinking should be done in the privacy of one’s home, where it’s necessary.

(1921 – ) American actor

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

We are in such a slump that even the ones that aren’t drinkin’ aren’t hittin’.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge; others just gargle.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I am not so think as you drunk I am.

(1884 – 1958) British poet, writer, historian & literary editor

“I liquidated my assets” is a better way of saying I spent my paycheck on booze.

American comedian

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author