Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 8)

Beer with no alcohol — what a waste; that is like a nun with a D-cup.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian

A drinking contest?!? What am I, 12… and at my boyfriend's frat party?!

(1968 – ) American actress & singer

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress

Angels carry drunkards on their arms.

Hangover: The wrath of grapes.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew; I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon… and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I try to keep fit; I’ve got these parallel bars at home… I run at them and try to buy a drink from both of them.

(1954 – ) English comedian writer

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's the occasion?
Byrne: I was sober.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor

Not all chemicals are bad; without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

You might be a redneck if… your your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

It was an arranged marriage, put together by drugs and alcohol.

American comedian & television host

I’d like to help you, but you don’t drink.

professional baseball player & manager

I drink to make other people seem more interesting.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian

There wasn't a man alive who could drink me into bed!

(1907 – 1982) American journalist, editor & author

Alcohol… enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I never drink water… fish f**k in it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist