Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 8)

I try to keep fit; I’ve got these parallel bars at home… I run at them and try to buy a drink from both of them.

(1954 – ) English comedian writer

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

(1930 – 2017) American journalist & author

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician

AAA-AA: A club for people who are being driven to drink.

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.

(1865 – 1939) Irish poet & politician

Rebecca: You guys, I have my new wedding dress. And now all I need is something old, something borrowed, and something blue.

Carla: How ‘bout Norm’s liver?

(1948 – ) American actress

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

The best research [for playing a drunk] is being a British actor for 20 years.

(1933 – ) English actor

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Drinking should be done in the privacy of one’s home, where it’s necessary.

(1921 – ) American actor

Smith to witness: So, you were as drunk as a judge?
Judge (interjecting): You mean as drunk as a lord?
Smith: Yes, My Lord.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Secretary: Someday you'll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer