Subject: Food/Drink » Cooking (Page 2)

No matter how many beautifully crafted, near-to-perfection baked goods you crank out on a regular basis, the moment one such item becomes required in some official capacity, it will flop.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Cooking With Pooh

Book Titles Cooking Food/Drink

My wife has to be the worst cook; her specialty is indigestion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Health Wives

Fettuccine Alfredo: Macaroni and cheese for adults.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink

My husband says I feed him like he's a god: every meal is a burnt offering.

(1951 – ) American stand-up comic & actress
Cooking Food/Drink

This recipe is certainly silly; it says to separate two eggs, but it doesn’t say how far to separate them.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Cooking Food/Drink

My friends tell me that cooking is easy, but it’s not easier than not cooking.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Cooking Food/Drink

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink Mothers

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

Do not taste food while you’re cooking… you may lose your nerve to eat it.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.


Accidents Cooking Food/Drink Problems

My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink Mothers Relationships

The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Fifty Shades of Chicken

Book Titles Cooking Food/Drink

When my mother had to get dinner for eight she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Cooking Food/Drink People Women

My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse; an antler got stuck in my throat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

I’m not very domestic… for years my children though mold was a frosting.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Cooking Food/Drink People Self