Subject: Food/Drink » Cooking (Page 4)

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

My wife’s a bad cook; the other night, she fixed alphabet soup – it spelled out “Help!”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

When my mother had to get dinner for eight she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

Cooking With Pooh

Book Titles Cooking Food/Drink

My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue…and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?… where does the glue go?"

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink Science/Weather

[My mother] is the only woman in the world who makes gravy with the Rolaids crushed right into it.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

1. If you're wondering if you took the meat out to thaw, you didn't. 2. If you're wondering if you left the coffee pot plugged in, you did.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

How do you like yer possum… fallin' off the bones tender or with a little fight left in it?

(1902 – 1973) American actress
Cooking

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

My friends tell me that cooking is easy, but it’s not easier than not cooking.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Cooking Food/Drink

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink Mothers Relationships

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction: I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink