Subject: Food/Drink (Page 12)

Dieting: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Health Life

He found that a fork in his inexperienced hand was an instrument of chase rather than capture.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Eating Food/Drink

What’s a sesame seed grow into? … I don’t know we never give them a chance… what the f**k is a sesame?! … it’s a street… it’s a way to open shit…

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

Woody: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: Alright, but stop me at one… make that one-thirty.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink Misspokements

Diet: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Individuals Women

Coach: Beer, Normie?

Norm: Coach: I don’t know. I’ll have one next week… what the heck, I’m young.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink

Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Alcohol Food/Drink Speech Wisdom

I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Politicians

If you buy bananas or avocados before they are ripe, there won't be any left by the time they are ripe. If you buy them ripe, they rot before they are eaten.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Food/Drink Games

I told my doctor, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills” and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Doctors Health

Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason… now I have a reason.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Alcohol Situations

If Dracula bit Dean [Martin] in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Romanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

(1915 – 1977) American actor of stage and screen
Cooking Food/Drink

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink