Subject: Food/Drink (Page 14)

Horse ovaries

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Food/Drink Malaprops

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex… except for salami and eggs; now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Life Sex

I’m so holy that when I touch wine, it turns into water.

(1877 – 1957) 48th Imam of the Nizari Ismaili community & [founder &] president of the All-India Muslim League
Alcohol Food/Drink

“I liquidated my assets” is a better way of saying I spent my paycheck on booze.

American comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.

American comedian & actor
Food/Drink

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

Eating Food/Drink Proverbs Situations Sleep

Woody: What’s up?

Norm: The warranty on my liver.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.

(1971 – ) American actor, director & producer
Eating TV/Movie Quotes

One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few.

Alcohol Food/Drink Proverbs

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health People Self

I just think my least favorite part of the vegan diet is the verbal part where they explain it to you… it’s just endless.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Food/Drink

There’s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip.

Alcohol Food/Drink Proverbs

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations

Bread that is sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Food/Drink

If you drink O’Douls, you don’t drink; but if you drink 20 O’Douls in a half hour, then you’re a non-alcoholic.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn’t even get his degree.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

Hey I’m high on life, Coach… of course, beer is my life.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer Life TV/Movie Quotes

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Food/Drink

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink

There is no such thing as a short beer. (As in, "I'm going to stop off at Joe's for a short beer on the way home.")

Beer Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws