Subject: Food/Drink (Page 19)

Man: I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time.

Fields: A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Food/Drink Life Old

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors – eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Eating Food/Drink

Avoid fruit and nuts; you are what you eat.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline; it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beer Food/Drink

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Food/Drink

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Waiter: Would you like to have anything before lunch?
Chico: Yes, breakfast.

(1887 – 1961) comedian, actor & member of the Marx Brothers
Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.

(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
Eating Emotions Food/Drink Happiness

Abdomen: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Appearance Body Eating

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Death

Buffet: A French word that means “get up and get it yourself.”

American humorist & public speaker
Definitions Food/Drink

I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

I like a lot of partisan cheese on my pizza.

Food/Drink Malaprops

At my house we pray AFTER we eat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Eating Food/Drink

I drink to make other people interesting.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Alcohol Food/Drink

The German asparagus are fabulous.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Food/Drink Places Speech

I’m not going to say my wife can’t cook, but should toast have bones?

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

If you think eggplant is good, you should try any other food; it’s much better.

(1983 – ) Israeli-American comedian, actor, writer & television host
Eating Food/Drink