Subject: Food/Drink (Page 19)

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

I never drink water; I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Joshua Jackson)
Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

The quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I’m in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants; I’d let just about everybody in except the English.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
England Food/Drink Places

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there were three other people.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director
Doctors Eating Food/Drink

Everybody wants to peel his own banana.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol

The food on the plane was fit for a king… “Here, King!”

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Food/Drink

If we are not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?

Animals Food/Drink

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

Alcohol Food/Drink Life

I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hijack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato; now correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s pizza.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Food/Drink

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Food/Drink

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs Food/Drink

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

You gotta be a special kind of hungry to put something in your mouth that you get from a stranger on the streets of Manhattan, especially in Times Square, if you know what I mean.

(1960 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink Places

A lot of people don't know it, but onions make me sad!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Food/Drink

Egbert: Was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty-dollar bill?

Bartender: Yeah.

Egbert: Oh boy, what a load that is off my mind. I thought I’d lost it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes