Subject: Food/Drink (Page 2)

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink Misspokements

Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink

Pretty women make us buy beer… ugly women make us drink beer.

(1946 – ) American actor
Beer Women

Coach: What’s new, Norm?

Norm: I need something to hold me over until my second beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Make Falafel Not War

Food/Drink Signs

They say Flintstone's vitamins are chewable; all vitamins are chewable, it's just that they taste shitty.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Food/Drink

My first words were ‘Seconds, please.’

(1953 – ) American comedian & television host
Communication Eating Food/Drink Self Speech

My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

The announcement of the disqualification was greeted by booze from the spectators at the pool.

Alcohol Food/Drink Sports

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Eating Food/Drink Money

Triscuit is the perfect combination of cracker and doormat.

American television writer & producer
Food/Drink

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Animals Food/Drink

The closest thing I have to a nutritionist is the Carlsberg Beer Company.

(1976 – ) Irish actor
Beer Eating Food/Drink Health

I was in a restaurant that had a sign that said 'Restrooms For Customers Only'… I thought, it must suck to work there.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink Situations Work

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health People Self

Sam: What’s new Normie?

Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

How’s about a beer, Norm?

That’s that amber sudsy stuff, right? I’ve heard good things about it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

In Mexico, we have a word for sushi… bait.

(1945 – 2008) American comedian & musician
Definitions Food/Drink Places

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Eating Food/Drink

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Eating Food/Drink Mothers Ugly

Alcohol killed my first wife… I got home drunk one night and shot her.

(1948 – ) British stand-up comedian
Alcohol Conflict Death Food/Drink Killing