Subject: Food/Drink (Page 20)

There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Alcohol Food/Drink

As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains

Food/Drink Military Murphy’s Laws

A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

(1965 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Emotions Food/Drink Happiness

There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Alcohol Beer Computers Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Things

The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 a.m.

(1926 – 1999) actor, comedian & female impersonator
Food/Drink People

1. Everything is cold except what should be. 2. Everything, including the corn flakes, is greasy.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Cooking Food/Drink

The church is near, but the road is icy; the bar is far away, but I will walk carefully.

Alcohol Food/Drink Proverbs

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if… you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks Things

You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Activities America Food/Drink Places Travel

A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.

Food/Drink

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.

(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
Eating Emotions Food/Drink Happiness

Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?

Another layer for the winter, Woody.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

A hot dog at the ballpark beats roast beef at the Ritz.

(1899 – 1957) film actor
Baseball Food/Drink Sports