Subject: Food/Drink (Page 20)

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

If you drink like a fish, don't drive… swim.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Life is just a bowl of pits.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Food/Drink Life

You don't get ulcers from what you eat; you get them from what's eating you.

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Eating Food/Drink Health Problems

Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

(1927 – 2007) American newspaper columnist
Books Communication Eating Food/Drink Reading/Writing Sex

Not enough to say grace over.

Expressions Food/Drink

Caramel: A substance for extracting children’s teeth.

Definitions Food/Drink

Fillit mig-non

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Eating Food/Drink Malaprops

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Cooking Food/Drink Self

Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.

(1946 – ) Romanian-born American poet, novelist, essayist & commentator
Books Communication Food/Drink

I personally stay away from natural foods; at my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Food/Drink Old

I’ve got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I have even opened yet!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee in this country any more?

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Food/Drink

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue…and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?… where does the glue go?"

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink Science/Weather

Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

Diet: A system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer.

Definitions Food/Drink

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Places Things

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions

How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?

Food/Drink Situations

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

(1899 – 1957) film actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

Woody: What’s the story Mr. Peterson?

Norm: The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let’s cut to the happy ending.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes