Subject: Food/Drink (Page 22)

Take the juice of two quarts of whisky…

(1904 – 1973) American guitarist & bandleader
Alcohol Health

Burt Johnson: I don't drink because drinking affects your decision-making.

Arthur: You may be right… I can't decide.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

I feel like I am too old to eat jelly, but I am too young to eat prunes… I am between grapes.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Food/Drink

I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider.

Expressions Food/Drink

Men will cook if danger is involved.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink Men People

Candy, is dandy, but liquor, is quicker.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex Time

They were persecuted at the turn of the century by the U.S. government – that's right: Prohibition.

comedian, television writer
Alcohol Food/Drink People

You don't get ulcers from what you eat; you get them from what's eating you.

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Eating Food/Drink Health Problems

I like eating Black Forest ham because it sounds like I had to kill a troll to get it.

comedian
Food/Drink

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Alcohol Food/Drink

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink

If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Eating Food/Drink Places

I envy people who drink… at least they have something to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

The more food you prepare, the less your guests eat.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the roll.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The other day my wife asked me to take her someplace real expensive to eat, so I took her to the airport.

stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Marriage Wives

While it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don’t keep and eye on can make an awful mess on your stove.

(1820 – 1897) Mormon missionary
Cooking Food/Drink Time

A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.

Food/Drink