Subject: Food/Drink (Page 22)

Thou shalt not covet they neighbors’s house… unless they have a well-stocked bar.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink

They didn't hesitate: Wendy's, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, and Burger King.

Denver Bronco team nutritionist
Food/Drink Football Sports

If you're a fish, and you want to be a fish stick, you must have very good posture.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Food/Drink

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Cats Food/Drink Things

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Eating Food/Drink Language

Woody: How’s it going Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Poor.
Woody: I’m sorry to hear that.
Norm: No, I mean pour.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Horse ovaries

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Food/Drink Malaprops

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Cooking Food/Drink People Women

If your next pot of chili tastes better, it probably is because of something left out, rather than added.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

In Mexico, we have a word for sushi… bait.

(1945 – 2008) American comedian & musician
Definitions Food/Drink Places

Well, you know, plants are living things, too; they're just easier to catch.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Food/Drink

The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the roll.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue…and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?… where does the glue go?"

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink Science/Weather

I go running when I have to – like when the ice cream truck is going 60, or I need a lift to the bakery.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Activities Exercise Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if… you believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

Apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze.

(1914 – 2011) American politician
Food/Drink

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Food/Drink

I was well warned about English food, so it did not surprise me, but I do wonder sometimes, how they ever manage to prise [lever] it up long enough to get a plate under it.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I love Grape Nuts – except, lots of times, I forget to put milk on them the night before I want to eat them.

American cinematographer & television director
Eating Food/Drink