Subject: Food/Drink (Page 24)

It was an arranged marriage, put together by drugs and alcohol.

American comedian & television host
Alcohol Drugs Marriage

Angels carry drunkards on their arms.

Alcohol Food/Drink Proverbs

Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?

Another layer for the winter, Woody.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

What am I drinking? … NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Past Things Time

I like candy canes; they’re my favorite candy… but I only like the white part.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink

Bread that is sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Food/Drink

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Eating Food/Drink

Woody: What’s the story Mr. Peterson?

Norm: The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let’s cut to the happy ending.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

If you don’t drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, “And then I got home…"

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Anything is edible if it is chopped finely enough.

Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.

(1897-1987) actress & comedian
Eating Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if… you believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Food/Drink

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Food/Drink

Alcohol: A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

The more food you prepare, the less your guests eat.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana, it’s just the opposite; green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the heck did you get that banana?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

We could not have had a better dinner had there been a Synod of Cooks.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Food/Drink School

I just think my least favorite part of the vegan diet is the verbal part where they explain it to you… it’s just endless.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Food/Drink