Subject: Food/Drink (Page 24)

Our rabbi is so poor that if he didn’t fast every Monday and Thursday, he’d starve to death.

Eating Food/Drink Money Poverty

You better cut the pizza in four pieces… I’m not hungry enough to eat eight.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Eating Food/Drink Yogi-isms

A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.

Food/Drink

Alcohol… enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Clams… I simply cannot imagine why anyone would eat something slimy served in an ashtray.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Food/Drink People

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Alcohol Food/Drink Things

The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Whenever you see the word “cuisine” used instead of the word “food,” be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

Sam: What’ll you have Normie?

Norm: Well, I’m in a gambling mood Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.

Sam: Looks like beer, Norm.

Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

My DNA is cheeseburgers.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Eating Food/Drink Sports

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs Food/Drink

Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink

A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Food/Drink Language

Coach: Beer, Normie?

Norm: Coach: I don’t know. I’ll have one next week… what the heck, I’m young.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

I take him to McDonald’s just to watch him eat and see the numbers change.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Food/Drink

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.


Eating Food/Drink

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes, and I was like, “Dude, you have to wait.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink