Subject: Food/Drink (Page 26)

The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of junk food available.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Body Food/Drink

Study: Drinking, Fainting Connected

Food/Drink Headlines

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Death

I have a decaffeinated coffee table… you’d never know it to look at it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Things

Wine we need for health, and the health we need to drink vodka.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Alcohol Food/Drink

It was an arranged marriage, put together by drugs and alcohol.

American comedian & television host
Alcohol Drugs Marriage

In Mexico, we have a word for sushi… bait.

(1945 – 2008) American comedian & musician
Definitions Food/Drink Places

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Death Food/Drink Time

Oscar Madison: I got, uh, brown sandwiches and, uh, green sandwiches. Which one do you want?
Murray: What’s the green?
Oscar Madison: It’s either very new cheese or very old meat.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

Alcohol Food/Drink

At American weddings, the quality of food is inversely proportional to the social position of the bride and the groom.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Food/Drink

My mom bought cookies… and they were never the good cookies; it was always the pack of 1000 that said: 'Cookies.'

comedian
Food/Drink Money Poverty

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

(1964– ) American comedian, radio personality, actor, podcaster & director
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Past Things Time

This stuff tastes awful. I could make a fortune selling it in my health food store.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: What’ll you have Normie?

Norm: Well, I’m in a gambling mood Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.

Sam: Looks like beer, Norm.

Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

I don't wanna say we eat out a lot, but when I call my kids for dinner they run to the car!

American comedian
Cooking Food/Drink