Subject: Food/Drink (Page 27)

If you're a fish, and you want to be a fish stick, you must have very good posture.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Food/Drink

A drinking contest?!? What am I, 12… and at my boyfriend's frat party?!

(1968 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

My wife has to be the worst cook; her specialty is indigestion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Health Wives

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.

(1897-1987) actress & comedian
Eating Food/Drink

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Alcohol Appearance Beer Body Men

Because you are feeding both the child and the floor, raising this child will be expensive.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Food/Drink Money

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Alcohol Emotions Food/Drink Happiness

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Money Wealth

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.

(1865 – 1939) Irish poet & politician
Alcohol Food/Drink Insults People

He’s so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he’d burn for three days.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Alcohol Food/Drink

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Abstainer: The kind of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Instructions: usage known.

Food/Drink Signs

Anything that you have to acquire a taste for was not meant to be eaten.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, singer & director
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.

(1936 – 1989) American social & political activist
Conflict Eating Killing People War

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Age Definitions Food/Drink Health Old

I take him to McDonald’s just to watch him eat and see the numbers change.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Food/Drink

I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

I like candy canes; they’re my favorite candy… but I only like the white part.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink