Subject: Food/Drink (Page 28)

When he buys his ties he has to ask if gin will make them run.

(1896 – 1940) American author of novels & short stories
Alcohol Food/Drink

Marge, I’m going to miss you so much; and it’s not just the sex; it’s also the food preparation.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I took this girl to dinner, and I heard that women like it when you order for them, so I was like, 'I'll have the special, and she's not getting anything tonight.'

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Food/Drink People Situations Women

Lunchableswould be so good if they were made with food.


American comedian
Food/Drink

I drink to make other people interesting.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Alcohol Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol People Rednecks

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

I just love Chinese food; my favorite dish is number 27.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Food/Drink

I’m not going to say my wife can’t cook, but should toast have bones?

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure.

Beer Food/Drink Proverbs

Beware the hobby that eats.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Activities Eating Food/Drink

Fettucini Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink People

I will not eat oysters; I want my food dead… not sick… not wounded… dead.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if… you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

Everybody wants to peel his own banana.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

When one door closes another door opens… usually a refrigerator.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Food/Drink

Not all chemicals are bad; without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Science/Weather

Vegetable: A substance used to ballast a child’s plate while it’s carried to and from the table.

Definitions Food/Drink

I feel like I am too old to eat jelly, but I am too young to eat prunes… I am between grapes.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Food/Drink

Cheese – milk's leap toward immortality.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Food/Drink Time

It was a brave person who first looked at a cow and said, ‘I think I’ll just squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out.’

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Animals Food/Drink