Subject: Food/Drink (Page 28)

Friend: That drink is slow poison.

Benchley’s reply: So who’s in a hurry?

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

How’s about a beer, Norm?

That’s that amber sudsy stuff, right? I’ve heard good things about it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Cats Food/Drink Things

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Eating Food/Drink

One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the restaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I’ve got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I have even opened yet!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

No matter how many hot dogs you consume at home, they always taste better at the ball park.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Harry Payne Bosterly: You’re drunk!

Harold: And you’re crazy. But I’ll be sober tomorrow and you’ll be crazy for the rest of your life.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

They say Flintstonesvitamins are chewable; all vitamins are chewable, it's just that they taste shitty.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first; by the second day, you’re off it.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Food/Drink

Woody: Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early isn’t it, Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers… the original meal was never found.

(1959 – ) British/American actress, comedian, director, author & screenwriter
Eating Food/Drink Mothers

I envy people who drink… at least they have something to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

A man's got to believe in something… and I believe I'll have another drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Food/Drink Individuals

I’m a postmodern vegetarian… I eat meat ironically.

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

He found that a fork in his inexperienced hand was an instrument of chase rather than capture.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Eating Food/Drink

On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana, it’s just the opposite; green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the heck did you get that banana?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink