Subject: Food/Drink (Page 29)

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol Food/Drink Health Life

If you drink O’Douls, you don’t drink; and if you drink twenty… you’re a non-alcoholic.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

America Food/Drink Places

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Health Life

Woody: What’s the story Mr. Peterson?

Norm: The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let’s cut to the happy ending.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

The quality of a champagne is judged by the amount of noise the cork makes when it is popped.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Beer math is 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.

Beer Science/Weather

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Children Definitions Family Food/Drink

Never eat more than you can lift.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

Food/Drink Marriage

I don't wanna say we eat out a lot, but when I call my kids for dinner they run to the car!

American comedian
Cooking Food/Drink

After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual “food” out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.ating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

How do you like yer possum… fallin' off the bones tender or with a little fight left in it?

(1902 – 1973) American actress
Cooking

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.

Definitions Food/Drink

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Eating Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if… you take a six-pack cooler to church.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer People Rednecks

In Mexico, we have a word for sushi… bait.

(1945 – 2008) American comedian & musician
Definitions Food/Drink Places

The best number for a dinner party is two – myself and a damn good head waiter.

(1896 – 1972) Turkish-born Armenian business magnate
Eating Food/Drink People

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Alcohol Congress Government

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink