Subject: Food/Drink (Page 29)

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Things

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Animals Eating Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol People Rednecks

There's a pizza place near where I live that only sells slices; you go by there and you see the guy throwing up little triangles.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Cooking Food/Drink Malaprops

There’s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip.

Alcohol Food/Drink Proverbs

You might be a redneck if… you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

Sam: What’s new Normie?

Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach and they’re demanding beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

If you buy bananas or avocados before they are ripe, there won't be any left by the time they are ripe. If you buy them ripe, they rot before they are eaten.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Eating Food/Drink

If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Situations

Edible underwear?… even during sex, we can't stop eating.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Eating Fat Food/Drink Sex

His mind was like a soup dish, wide and shallow; it could hold a small amount of nearly anything, but the slightest jarring spilled the soup into somebody's lap.

(1903 – 1989) American writer
Food/Drink Insults Intelligence

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

I got so drunk one night I woke up in a chalk outline.

American comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me…maybe I put them on too soon.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Food/Drink Sex

As soon as you sit down with a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The English contribution to world cuisine – the chip.

(1939 – ) English actor, comedian, writer & producer
Cooking England Food/Drink Places

This may be the wine talking, but I really, really, really, really love wine.


Food/Drink

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes