Subject: Food/Drink (Page 29)

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes, and I was like, “Dude, you have to wait.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

(1963 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, screenwriter & film producer
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses… drinks right out of the bottle.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Age Food/Drink Old

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

There must be a mistake: you’ve accidentally given me the food my food eats.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
England Food/Drink Places

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Money

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Food/Drink

Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Food/Drink Misspokements

The closest I’ve been to a diet this year is erasing food searches from my browser history.


Food/Drink

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn’t remind you of anything.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Food/Drink

There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

You might be a redneck if…… you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People

Dinah [Shore] formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Old People

This may be the wine talking, but I really, really, really, really love wine.


Food/Drink

The French, they say, live to eat; the English, on the other hand, eat to die.

(1949 – ) English novelist
Eating England People Places

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

The Jews celebrate Passover by eating unpalatable food to remind them what will happen to their people if they ever leave New York City.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Food/Drink New York City Places

I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Beer Emotions Situations