Subject: Food/Drink (Page 31)

Tommy (Lasorda) will eat anything, as long as you pay for it.

American baseball player, manager & executive
Baseball Eating Food/Drink Sports

Kidney: A complex organ used to convert beer into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

He has a profound respect for old age… especially when it’s bottled.

(1890 – 1960) journalist, author & dramatist
Age Alcohol

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.

(1934 – ) Italian actress
Appearance Body Food/Drink Self

If you're a fish, and you want to be a fish stick, you must have very good posture.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Food/Drink

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Food/Drink Time

You can't fall off the floor.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is that you usually have to eat them.


Accidents Cooking Food/Drink Problems

He goes through groceries like an earth remover.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Eating Food/Drink Malaprops

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Alcohol People Situations

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Food/Drink

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising… it was the only exercise I got.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Alcohol Exercise Food/Drink Health

He’s so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he’d burn for three days.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Alcohol Food/Drink

Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.

professional baseball player
Food/Drink Malaprops

Isn’t there any other part of the matzah you can eat?

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Food/Drink Misspokements

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn’t remind you of anything.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Food/Drink

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month… the other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Food/Drink People