Subject: Food/Drink (Page 31)

I think the British have the distinction above all other nations of being able to put new wine into old bottles without bursting them.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Food/Drink People Places

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie; “Come on ‘long prosperous life!’”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Death Food/Drink

Dorito Syndrome: Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content.

Definitions Food/Drink

As soon as you sit down with a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Wordplay

No matter how many beautifully crafted, near-to-perfection baked goods you crank out on a regular basis, the moment one such item becomes required in some official capacity, it will flop.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

You might be a redneck if… you take a six-pack cooler to church.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks Things

I'm sick of 'soup of the day,' it's time we made a decision.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Food/Drink

We didn’t have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Beer Food/Drink Football Sports

I go running when I have to – like when the ice cream truck is going 60, or I need a lift to the bakery.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Activities Exercise Food/Drink

Ask not what you can do for your country; ask what’s for lunch.

(1915 – 1985) stage & film actor & director
Eating Food/Drink

She did not so much cook food as assassinate food

English writer
Cooking Food/Drink Insults

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Food/Drink Hollywood Marriage Time

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers… the original meal was never found.

(1959 – ) British/American actress, comedian, director, author & screenwriter
Eating Food/Drink Mothers

To eat is human, to digest, divine.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Alcohol Ideas Murphy’s Laws

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn’t even get his degree.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink