Subject: Food/Drink (Page 31)

Appetizers are little things you keep eating until you lose your appetite.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Food/Drink

I slept with this girl, in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed… she said one pig in the blanket was enough.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Food/Drink Situations

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Eating Food/Drink Money

Oscar Madison: I got, uh, brown sandwiches and, uh, green sandwiches. Which one do you want?
Murray: What’s the green?
Oscar Madison: It’s either very new cheese or very old meat.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

The best research [for playing a drunk] is being a British actor for 20 years.

(1933 – ) English actor
Acting Alcohol Food/Drink Places

Sex with me when I'm really drunk is like being at the dentist… you can tell something's going on but you don't exactly know what it is.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I like a lot of partisan cheese on my pizza.

Food/Drink Malaprops

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Wordplay

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.

(1903 – 1985) American chef & food writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Taxes

Not enough to say grace over.

Expressions Food/Drink

I’m a postmodern vegetarian… I eat meat ironically.

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator
Alcohol Food/Drink

His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Alcohol Insults Intelligence

You can't fall off the floor.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations