Subject: Food/Drink (Page 32)

Food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

A balanced meal is whatever stays on the spoon en route to a baby’s mouth.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Children Family Food/Drink

You gotta be a special kind of hungry to put something in your mouth that you get from a stranger on the streets of Manhattan, especially in Times Square, if you know what I mean.

(1960 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink Places

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

Always drink upstream from the herd.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Health Life

At American weddings, the quality of food is inversely proportional to the social position of the bride and the groom.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Alcohol Beer Emotions Food/Drink God Happiness

It was actually easier for me to become a vegetarian – you know, quitting meat – because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of meat.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Activities Drugs Eating Food/Drink

I'm not saying it's right; I'm just saying, every night millions of people go to bed hungry, and every day we bury perfectly good cuts of meat.

American comedian & writer
Eating Food/Drink

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Food/Drink

Marge, I’m going to miss you so much; and it’s not just the sex; it’s also the food preparation.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Someone asked, “Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?

Fields’ reply: He'd think I was a sissy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Rebecca: You guys, I have my new wedding dress. And now all I need is something old, something borrowed, and something blue.

Carla: How ‘bout Norm’s liver?

(1948 – ) American actress
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

What would you say to a beer, Normie?

Daddy wuvs you.”

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer

A hot dog at the ballpark beats roast beef at the Ritz.

(1899 – 1957) film actor
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

What would you say to a beer, Norm?

Hi ya, sailor. New in town?

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Well, you know, plants are living things, too; they're just easier to catch.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Food/Drink

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Drinking should be done in the privacy of one’s home, where it’s necessary.

(1921 – ) American actor
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes