Subject: Food/Drink (Page 33)

I drink to make other people seem more interesting.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

So I was eating this cereal, and I had all these questions and comments; luckily there was a number on the box.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Eating Food/Drink

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

(1953 – ) American singer, songwriter, actor, author & radio personality
Activities Alcohol

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Food/Drink Government Law

She did not so much cook food as assassinate food

English writer
Cooking Food/Drink Insults

Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.

(1946 – ) Romanian-born American poet, novelist, essayist & commentator
Books Communication Food/Drink

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Golfing excellence goes hand in hand with alcohol, as many an Open and Amateur champion has shown.

British golf writer & commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink Golf Sports

I slept with this girl, in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed… she said one pig in the blanket was enough.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Food/Drink Situations

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Food/Drink Frugal Money

Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Things

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses… drinks right out of the bottle.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Age Food/Drink Old

Never eat anything you can't pronounce.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Food/Drink

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Cats Food/Drink Things

If I wanted to be with people p**sing themselves and talking rubbish, I’d have a kid.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Marriage

When my mother had to get dinner for eight she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches – two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Money Poverty

Study: Drinking, Fainting Connected

Food/Drink Headlines

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again.

(1941 – 2003) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink