Subject: Food/Drink (Page 34)

Aah beer, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems. 

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Eating Food/Drink

Caramel: A substance for extracting children’s teeth.

Definitions Food/Drink

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Food/Drink Time

What would you say to a beer, Norm?

Hi ya, sailor. New in town?

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk; that will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Alcohol Communication Food/Drink Speech

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Food/Drink

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

(1934 – 1996) American astronomer, astrophysicist & author
Cooking Food/Drink Science/Weather

You guys keeping up on that Jeffrey Dahmer thing, the guy that ate 17 people?… you know, I could understand one or two, but 17 – you're eating just to eat.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Eating Food/Drink Situations

I think Pringle’s intention was to make tennis balls, but the day the rubber was supposed to show up, they got a big load of potatoes instead; but Pringles was a laid-back company and they said, "f**k it, cut 'em up."

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink Situations

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors – eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Eating Food/Drink

What the F*@# Should I Make for Dinner?

Book Titles Cooking Food/Drink

Sam: What’ll you have Normie?

Norm: Well, I’m in a gambling mood Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.

Sam: Looks like beer, Norm.

Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
England Food/Drink Places

The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Eating Food/Drink

An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.

Alcohol Doctors Food/Drink Health

I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Egbert: Was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty-dollar bill?

Bartender: Yeah.

Egbert: Oh boy, what a load that is off my mind. I thought I’d lost it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

I look like the wrath of grapes.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Appearance Emotions Food/Drink

‘Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Food/Drink