Subject: Food/Drink (Page 35)

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Cooking Food/Drink People Women

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue…and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?… where does the glue go?"

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink Science/Weather

I think they should put the wrapper of a straw on the inside because that is the part you don't want to get dirty.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Things

A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Food/Drink

I love defenseless animals… especially in good gravy.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Food/Drink

I’ve never been in a rotating restaurant, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, I put her on it, and I gave her a burrito.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Things

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Young

Lindsay Lohan: Rehab Was a ‘Sobering Experience’

Alcohol Food/Drink Headlines

I took this girl to dinner, and I heard that women like it when you order for them, so I was like, 'I'll have the special, and she's not getting anything tonight.'

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Food/Drink People Situations Women

A hot dog at the ballpark beats roast beef at the Ritz.

(1899 – 1957) film actor
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.

Alcohol Beer Murphy’s Laws

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.

(1865 – 1939) Irish poet & politician
Alcohol Food/Drink Insults People

Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.

Alcohol Church Bulletins Drugs

Caramel: A substance for extracting children’s teeth.

Definitions Food/Drink

The pub is as much a part of rugby as is the playing field.

Food/Drink Sports

I like eating Black Forest ham because it sounds like I had to kill a troll to get it.

comedian
Food/Drink

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Alcohol Emotions Food/Drink Happiness

It was an arranged marriage, put together by drugs and alcohol.

American comedian & television host
Alcohol Drugs Marriage

I had one anchovy, that's why I didn't have two anchovies.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

The Chinese food in China is not better than the Chinese food here, mostly because of differences of definitions of words that we have – like, for example, 'beef.'

(1960 – ) American comedian
Communication Definitions Food/Drink Language

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Cooking Food/Drink Malaprops