Subject: Food/Drink (Page 43)

If you drink O’Douls, you don’t drink; but if you drink 20 O’Douls in a half hour, then you’re a non-alcoholic.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Food/Drink Money Success

Alcohol: A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Wine we need for health, and the health we need to drink vodka.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Alcohol Food/Drink

The tougher kind tastes like toenails, and the softer kind like the skin off the soles of one’s feet.

(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Food/Drink

If people weren’t meant to have midnight snacks, then why do they put a light in the refrigerator?

Food/Drink

You might be a redneck if… a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer Food/Drink People Rednecks

Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Eating Food/Drink People Places

Cliff: Hey, Norm: What’s up?

Norm: My blood-alcohol level.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.

(1904 – 1995) American comedian, jazz musician & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink Self

I wish that there was a restaurant named “I don't care,” so I'd finally know where my girlfriend was talking about.

(1979 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Dating Food/Drink Relationships

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.

(1903 – 1985) American chef & food writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Activities America Food/Drink Places Travel

Let’s go to lunch, I'm emancipated!

Food/Drink Malaprops

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator
Alcohol Food/Drink

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Marriage Men

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

Animals Definitions Eating Food/Drink

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Food/Drink

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations