Subject: Food/Drink (Page 44)

Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Places Things

I think they should put pies on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something it's at least a little bit funny.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Emotions Food/Drink Things

I am not so think as you drunk I am.

(1884 – 1958) British poet, writer, historian & literary editor
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

At my house we pray AFTER we eat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Eating Food/Drink

I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Eating Food/Drink

We drink to one another’s health, and spoil our own.

(1859 – 1927) English writer
Food/Drink Health

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Beer Drugs Sleep

If a piece of buttered toast falls, it will land face down.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it.

(1902 – 1987) American actor
Food/Drink

Of course, now I touch nothing stronger than buttermilk: 90-proof buttermilk.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

You can't drown yourself in drink… I've tried, you float.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

American comedian
Food/Drink Government

The French, they say, live to eat; the English, on the other hand, eat to die.

(1949 – ) English novelist
Eating England People Places

50 Ways to Eat Cock

Animals Book Titles Cooking Food/Drink

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Animals

Friend: That drink is slow poison.

Benchley’s reply: So who’s in a hurry?

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers