Subject: Food/Drink (Page 44)

Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.

professional baseball player
Food/Drink Malaprops

I’m not very domestic… for years my children though mold was a frosting.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Cooking Food/Drink People Self

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month… the other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Food/Drink People

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

American comedian
Food/Drink Government

Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Food/Drink Life Old

Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird… unfortunately, that bird is a California condor.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Eating Food/Drink

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual “food” out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.ating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I slept with this girl, in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed… she said one pig in the blanket was enough.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Food/Drink Situations

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia?

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Beer England Food/Drink Places

It was a brave person who first looked at a cow and said, ‘I think I’ll just squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out.’

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Animals Food/Drink

Apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze.

(1914 – 2011) American politician
Food/Drink

Nutrition makes me puke.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

Cookie: A standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat.

Definitions Food/Drink

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Fools Intelligence

If I wanted to be with people p**sing themselves and talking rubbish, I’d have a kid.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Children Food/Drink

It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.

(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Alcohol Characteristics Elections/Voting

I went to a Chinese restaurant and there was a suggestion box, so I wrote ‘Free Tibet.’

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink Places