Subject: Food/Drink (Page 47)

I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

Instructions: usage known.

Food/Drink Signs

The last mosquito that bit me had to book in to the Betty Ford clinic.

(1946 – ) English actress, model & author
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Conflict Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes War

Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money

Coach: Would you like a beer, Norm?

Norm: I’d like to see something in a size 54 sudzy.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Put it back in the horse!

(1907 – 1976) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Insults

When a banana gets rotten people love to tell you that you can make banana bread out of it; I have never seen anyone actually do it.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Food/Drink

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Life Problems

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Food/Drink Time

Apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze.

(1914 – 2011) American politician
Food/Drink

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions

What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?

Going Down?

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer

A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Men People Women

A lot of people don't know it, but onions make me sad!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Food/Drink

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers… the original meal was never found.

(1959 – ) British/American actress, comedian, director, author & screenwriter
Eating Food/Drink Mothers

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink