Subject: Food/Drink (Page 5)

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.

(1869 – 1946) American novelist & dramatist
Alcohol Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Alcohol Emotions Food/Drink

I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Food/Drink

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

We didn’t have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Beer Food/Drink Football Sports

In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Food/Drink Places

By the way, you don’t have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade; you could just be a thirsty dude; Gatorade forgets about this demographic!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

I don’t wanna die tomorrow knowing that I could have had a piece of chocolate cake tonight.

(1976 – ) American comedian
Eating Food/Drink

I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills… my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Health Situations Sleep

I was in a restaurant that had a sign that said 'Restrooms For Customers Only'… I thought, it must suck to work there.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink Situations Work

My uncle was the town drunk… and we lived in Chicago.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

This stuff tastes awful. I could make a fortune selling it in my health food store.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I got so drunk one night I woke up in a chalk outline.

American comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

I think they should put pies on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something it's at least a little bit funny.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Emotions Food/Drink Things

Man can not live by bread alone … he must have peanut butter.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Food/Drink Life

I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink

I look like the wrath of grapes.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Appearance Emotions Food/Drink

General Mills is coming out with an organic Twinkie; isn't that called a sponge?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Food/Drink

Gluttony: A sign something is eating us.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Beer Drugs Sleep