Subject: Food/Drink (Page 6)

Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird… unfortunately, that bird is a California condor.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Eating Food/Drink

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

Definitions Food/Drink

You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.

Alcohol Beer Murphy’s Laws

[Tequila] is not even a drink; it’s a way for having the cops around without using a phone.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I was vegan for a while… I lost 6 lbs, but most of that was personality.

British comedian
Food/Drink

I eat like a vulture… unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Eating Food/Drink

Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised; and there's a reason – all of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Food/Drink Past Time

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink Mothers Relationships

Time to cleanse my palette – I’m gonna get a beer.

(1940 – 2018) English-American actor & comedian
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

What’s a sesame seed grow into? … I don’t know we never give them a chance… what the f**k is a sesame?! … it’s a street… it’s a way to open shit…

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

Once a dish is fouled up, anything added to save it only makes it worse.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: No, I’d like a dead cat in a glass.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Emotions Food/Drink Love Mothers Work

He goes through groceries like an earth remover.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Eating Food/Drink Malaprops

You might be a redneck if… you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink People Rednecks

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Eating Food/Drink

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Young

At American weddings, the quality of food is inversely proportional to the social position of the bride and the groom.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink

You gotta be a special kind of hungry to put something in your mouth that you get from a stranger on the streets of Manhattan, especially in Times Square, if you know what I mean.

(1960 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink Places

Everybody wants to peel his own banana.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws