Subject: Food/Drink (Page 7)

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Food/Drink

A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

I asked for a dry martini!

(1914 – 2008) screenwriter
Food/Drink

Alcohol: A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

No man is alone eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Eating Food/Drink

In Seattle you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.

(1964 – ) American founder, president, CEO & chairman of Amazon
Food/Drink Places

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink Mothers Relationships

They were persecuted at the turn of the century by the U.S. government – that's right: Prohibition.

comedian, television writer
Alcohol Food/Drink People

‘Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Food/Drink

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.


Eating Food/Drink

I find that a duck’s opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.

Definitions Food/Drink

There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

“I liquidated my assets” is a better way of saying I spent my paycheck on booze.

American comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Time to cleanse my palette – I’m gonna get a beer.

(1940 – 2018) English-American actor & comedian
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Alcohol Characteristics Doctors Health

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Life Problems

Sex with me when I'm really drunk is like being at the dentist… you can tell something's going on but you don't exactly know what it is.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn’t even get his degree.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

She did not so much cook food as assassinate food

English writer
Cooking Food/Drink Insults