Subject: Food/Drink (Page 7)

Kidney: A complex organ used to convert beer into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Animals Food/Drink

In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

One more drink and I'd be under the host.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don’t want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.

Food/Drink

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Alcohol Congress Government

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Alcohol Food/Drink Things

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.


Eating Food/Drink

Well, you know, plants are living things, too; they're just easier to catch.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Food/Drink

Alcohol killed my first wife… I got home drunk one night and shot her.

(1948 – ) British stand-up comedian
Alcohol Conflict Death Food/Drink Killing

Leftovers: Repast history.

Definitions Food/Drink

There must be a mistake: you’ve accidentally given me the food my food eats.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Wives

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don’t fight, I’ll eat this planet.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Eating Food/Drink Sports

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

Eating Food/Drink Proverbs Situations Sleep

It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.

(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Alcohol Characteristics Elections/Voting

They say hot dogs can kill you; how do you know it’s not the bun?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Food/Drink

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Joshua Jackson)
Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

The German asparagus are fabulous.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Food/Drink Places Speech

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Eating Food/Drink Sex