Subject: Food/Drink (Page 9)

Diet: Something you keep putting off while you keep putting on.

Definitions Food/Drink

Hangover: The wrath of grapes.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Eating Food/Drink

I can’t wait to get off the stage, because I’ve got some LifeSavers in my pocket and pineapple is next!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

When I visit China I like to get Chinese food… ff course, over there they just call it food.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Places

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors – eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Eating Food/Drink

Secretary: Someday you’ll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry

(1976 – ) American actress & singer
Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Friends Marriage Old People

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
England Food/Drink Places

Burt Johnson: I don't drink because drinking affects your decision-making.

Arthur: You may be right… I can't decide.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Farkerhouse rolls.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Food/Drink Malaprops

I'm sick of 'soup of the day,' it's time we made a decision.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

My mom bought cookies… and they were never the good cookies; it was always the pack of 1000 that said: 'Cookies.'

comedian
Food/Drink Money Poverty

Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
England Food/Drink Places

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, in addition to when it is removed.

Cooking Definitions

The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper; well, then they screwed up!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

Animals Definitions Food/Drink

In a family recipe that you discovered in an old book, the most vital measurement will be illegible.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Marriage