Subject: Government » Law

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Government Intelligence Law Lawyers Understanding

A lawyer is someone who writes a 40-page document and calls it a brief!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Law Lawyers

The legislature's job is to write law; it's the executive branch's job to interpret law.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Congress Government Law President

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist
Beliefs Conflict Law People

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Law People

Judge: A law student who grades his own papers.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Definitions Law

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Law People Speech

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Crime Government Law People

Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman can be up to 30 years in jail, but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is another two years in office.

(1955 – ) American sportswriter
Beliefs Congress Golf Government Honesty Law Lies

You win some, you lose some, and then there's that little known third category.

(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist
Elections/Voting Government Law Politics

If law school is so hard to get through… how come there are so many lawyers?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education Government Law Lawyers School

Only one thing, is impossible for God; to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government Law

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young

You’ve got to execute people; how else are they going to learn?

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Government Law

Nothing is as dangerous as an unemployed lawyer.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Government Law Lawyers

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Government Law Lawyers

Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Law

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire; they're trained for that!

(1964 – ) English comedian
Animals Dogs Government Law

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government Law

Nothing is illegal if one hundred well-placed business men decide to do it.

(1932 – ) American politician, diplomat, activist & pastor
Government Law