Subject: Government » Law (Page 2)

Judge: A law student who grades his own papers.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Definitions Law

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Law

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Doctors Government Health Law Lawyers

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Age Law Old Sex

I don’t want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is.

(1927 – 1986) American attorney
Government Law

There is more law in the end of a policeman’s nightstick than in a decision of the Supreme Court.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Law

This contract is so one-sided that I am surprised to find it written on both sides of the paper.

(1899 – 1966) British judge
Government Law

You’ve got to execute people; how else are they going to learn?

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Government Law

When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Law President

There is a statue of limitation.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Law Malaprops

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

In Scotland we have a verdict ‘not proven;’ that means ‘not guilty, but don’t do it again.’

Law Places

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Law Opinion

All lawyers are cut from the same cloth: fleece.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Government Law Lawyers

Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

Law Sex

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Government Law Lawyers

The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Government Law Places

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government Law

Injustice is relatively easy to bear, what stings is justice.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Law