Subject: Government » Law (Page 2)

Easiest job you could ever have… whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create "reasonable doubt."

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Law Situations

Your honor, may I encroach the bench?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Law Malaprops

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Doctors Government Health Law Lawyers

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Government Law Lawyers Money Opinion

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Government Ideas Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics Law

Every girl dreams, when they grow up, they’re gonna marry a doctor, marry a lawyer; but me, I had to marry the only lawyer in America with a conscience.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Government Husbands Law Lawyers Marriage

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

You win some, you lose some, and then there's that little known third category.

(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist
Elections/Voting Government Law Politics

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

A lawyer is someone who writes a 40-page document and calls it a brief!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Law Lawyers

The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Government Law

This contract is so one-sided that I am surprised to find it written on both sides of the paper.

(1899 – 1966) British judge
Government Law

It’s better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six.

Conflict Crime Death Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Definitions Government Law Lawyers

There is more law in the end of a policeman’s nightstick than in a decision of the Supreme Court.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Master of the Rolls: Really, Mr Smith, do give this Court credit for some little intelligence.

Smith: That is the mistake I made in the Court below, My Lord.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Government Law

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

We shouldn’t have to be burdened with all the technicalities that come up from time to time with shrewd, smart lawyers interpreting what the laws or what the Constitution may or may not say.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Law Lawyers Misspokements

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Government Law Lawyers People