Subject: Government » Law (Page 2)

Judge: A law student who grades his own papers.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Definitions Law

Hey folks, I’ll admit it — I didn’t vote; I didn’t like any of those bastards enough to risk jury duty.

comedian
Elections/Voting Government Law

You’ve got to execute people; how else are they going to learn?

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Government Law

When the [Supreme] Court moved to Washington in 1800, it was provided with no books, which probably accounts for the high quality of early opinions.

(1892 – 1954) U.S. Attorney General & Supreme Court justice
Government Law

Contract: An agreement that is binding only on the weaker party.

(1822 – 1891) U.S. senator (South Carolina)
Government Law

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements… or, as the White House calls it, a press conference.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Crime Government Law

The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws.


Government Law

Nothing is as dangerous as an unemployed lawyer.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Government Law Lawyers

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Government Law Lawyers Money Opinion

This contract is so one-sided that I am surprised to find it written on both sides of the paper.

(1899 – 1966) British judge
Government Law

Much as he is opposed to lawbreaking, he is not bigoted about it.

(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer
Government Law

The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Government Law

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Government Law

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? … if they don’t know their rights, they shouldn’t be in the business.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law

What I need is a lawyer who specializes in the law of the jungle.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Government Law Lawyers

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government Law

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Government Law Situations

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Government Law Lawyers

It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law