Subject: Government » Law (Page 4)

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Government Law Lawyers

There is a statue of limitation.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Law Malaprops

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Doctors Government Health Law Lawyers

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

Contract: An agreement that is binding only on the weaker party.

(1822 – 1891) U.S. senator (South Carolina)
Government Law

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Government Ideas Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

Asking the ignorant to use the incomprehensible to decide the unknowable.

(1932 – ) American judge & author
Government Law

Judge: A law student who grades his own papers.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Definitions Law

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Definitions Law Lawyers

A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it himself.

(1778 – 1868) English politician
Government Law Lawyers

Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law People

The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Government Law

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

Government Law Lawyers Murphy’s Laws Time

As one gets older, litigation replaces sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Law Sex

The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Government Law

All lawyers are cut from the same cloth: fleece.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Government Law Lawyers

Why do they call it a “hate” crime, if I like doing it?

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Government Law

My retirement plan is a slippery floor at a department store.

American comedian
Law Money