Subject: Government » Military

Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep

Military

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.

Arms Intelligence Military

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Recoilless rifles – aren’t.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.

Military

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!

(1813 – 1864) American teacher & Union Army general in the Civil War
Death Government Military

When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be long

Military Murphy’s Laws

Nobody can ever learn our military's secrets — unless, you know, they happen to have the Discovery Channel… then, it's pretty easy, just tune in for a few minutes.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Government Military Television

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.

Military Murphy’s Laws

No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

Military

My parents were very pleased that I was in the Army; the fact that I hated it somehow pleased hem even more.

(1934 – ) Australian comedian, satirist, artist, & author
Government Military

Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws War

As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains

Food/Drink Military Murphy’s Laws

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss; whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

Military

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War