Subject: Government » Military (Page 6)

There are three types of intelligence: the intelligence of man, the intelligence of animals and the intelligence of the military… in that order.

(1911 – 1994) German film director & producer
Animals Intelligence Military

Neutral countries – aren’t.

Government Military Murphy’s Laws Places

Rear: In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Military

Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep

Military

Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t.

Definitions Government Military

The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little while longer.

Military Murphy’s Laws

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!

(1813 – 1864) American teacher & Union Army general in the Civil War
Death Government Military

All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Appearance Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

Military

There’s nobody bigger or better at the military than I am.

(1946 – ) American cretin & 45th U.S. president
Government Military

The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Tracers work BOTH ways.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Armies aren't known for neatness.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Government Military

Generals who can write always make me nervous.

(1921 – ) American newspaper editor
Government Military Occupations

There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

Military

Anything you can do can get you killed – including doing nothing.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
1. When you’re ready for them. 2. When you’re not ready for them.

Military Murphy’s Laws

I wanted to join the Army… the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be'… they told me it wasn't enough.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Government Military

[When parachuting] it is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Military Murphy’s Laws