Subject: Government (Page 10)

If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Arms Conflict Government Military Things War

It’s great that we’ve got a compassionate conservative, but to me, that sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places

Politics is the pursuit of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Government People Politicians

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Law People

What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican?… a Democrat blows; a Republican sucks.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government Politicians

If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.

Military

I understand that Congress has taken the first step in the fight against air pollution: limiting the speeches to five minutes.

Congress Government

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Government Law

Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.

Democracy Government Taxes

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me; and let there be lawyers so people don't blame everything on Satan.’

Canadian comedian & author
Beliefs God Lawyers

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America People President Success

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

A jury is a group of twelve people of average ignorance.

(1820 – 1903) English philosopher
Government Intelligence Law People

Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.

(1901 – 1986) diplomat & economist
Government Politicians

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Politicians

It gave dirty politics a bad name.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Politics

Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.

Definitions Lawyers

The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Government

The best definition of an honest politician is one who… when he is bought, stays bought.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Definitions Government Politicians