Subject: Government (Page 10)

The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost – he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Politicians

A good many people feel that our present draft laws are unjust; these people are called soldiers

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Military

The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

Military

If the law-makers make a compromise, the place where it will be felt most is the taxpayer’s pocket.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Another such victory, and we are undone.

(318 – 272 BC) Greek general & statesman
Government Military

No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me; I’m like a white male U.S. senator.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Government People Self

I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House – with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Intelligence President

I rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University.

(1925 – 2008) American conservative author, commentator & television host
Government

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Government

Logic and taxation are not always the best of friends.

(1862 – 1946) American jurist & Supreme Court justice
Government Taxes

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government

Rich people bring a lawyer; Latinos and blacks bring their moms.

(1976 – ) comedian
Lawyers Money Mothers People

Communism is like one big phone company.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Government

Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Government Military Murphy’s Laws

Anything you can do can get you killed – including doing nothing.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.

Death Government Language Taxes

Short-term success with voters on any side of a given issue can be guaranteed by creating a long-term special study commission made up of at least three divergent interest groups.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Dating Relationships Taxes Work

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? … if they don’t know their rights, they shouldn’t be in the business.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law