Subject: Government (Page 10)

Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent.

(1860 – 1921) U.S. senator (Pennsylvania)
Government Intelligence People

No Taxes… let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Money Taxes

All lawyers are cut from the same cloth: fleece.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Government Law Lawyers

Balancing the budget is like going to haven: everybody wants to do it, but nobody wants to do what you have to do to get there.

(1942 – ) U.S. senator (Texas)
Government

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs Government Politics

I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Books Communication President

Astronomers have discovered two giant new solar systems, and with George W. Bush taking over the Presidency, it’s good to know we have options.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government President

Laws are like sausages… it’s better not to see them being made.

(1815 – 1898) Prussian statesman
Government Law

Bureaucracy is the epoxy that greases the wheels of progress.

(1925 – 2010) American humorist & writer
Government Situations

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

Military Murphy’s Laws

[When parachuting] it is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.

(1947 – ) American author
Government Politics President

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Government President Sex Wives

Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Democracy Government Politics Success

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail and if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Government Laughter

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People Politics

All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Appearance Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.

Democracy Government Taxes

Injustice is relatively easy to bear, what stings is justice.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Law

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Politicians Situations

There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

Military