Subject: Government (Page 11)

The difference between a whore and a congressman is that a congressman makes more money.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Congress Government Sex

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor
Entertainment Government Politicians

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

Once the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

Military Murphy’s Laws

A lawyer is someone who writes a 40-page document and calls it a brief!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Law Lawyers

I called my lawyer and said, ‘Can I ask you two questions?’ He said, ‘What’s the second question?

Government Lawyers Murphy’s Laws

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

I don’t need a president with a bucket list!

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Government President

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Government Law Lawyers Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

No one ever carries too much ammo.

Military

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted “Bingo!” counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government Politicians

Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

Military Murphy’s Laws Understanding

There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

Military

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government People Situations Things

Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.

(1806-1873) British philosopher
Beliefs Government Intelligence Opinion Stupidity

Democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Democracy Government

If Congress must do a painful thing, the thing must be done in an odd-number year.

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws Time

A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Conflict Government Places

There is more law in the end of a policeman’s nightstick than in a decision of the Supreme Court.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Smart bombs have bad days too.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Democracy Language Speech