Subject: Government (Page 11)

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

Definitions Lawyers

The wind doesn't bother me. I'm in the U.S. Senate.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Congress Government

Democrats Are Sexy. Who Ever Heard of Good Piece of Elephant.

Government Politicians Signs

An independent is a guy who wants to take the politics out of politics.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Beliefs Government Opinion Politics

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war… just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Clothing Conflict Government Military War

Ten thousand women marched through the streets of London saying 'we will not be dictated to,' and then went off to become stenographers.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
People Politics Situations Women

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money Taxes

A bunch of money-grubbin', greenhouse-gassing, seal-clubbing, oil-drilling, Bible-thumping, missile-firing, right-to-life-ing, lethal-injecting hypocrites, whose idea of a good time is strapping a dead panda to a Lincoln Navigator and running over everybody in the gay parade.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People Politics

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it’s too much trouble putting make-up on two faces.

Australian comedian & actress
Characteristics Government People Politicians Women

The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
1. When you’re ready for them. 2. When you’re not ready for them.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Places

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Government Law Lawyers

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Taxes

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Politicians

Diplomat: A headwaiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. 

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Government Occupations

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Situations Taxes

Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get re-elected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early retirement.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

I miss being pampered.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government People Self

Politician: A fellow who borrows your pot in which to cook your goose.

Definitions Government Politicians

In levying taxes and in shearing sheep it is well to stop when you get down to the skin.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Government Taxes