Subject: Government (Page 12)

All you need to be the Vice President is a blue suit and a pulse… and Dick Cheney has shown that you don’t even need the pulse.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government

Democracy: A state of mind in which every man is as good as every other man, provided he really is.

Definitions Democracy Government

The wind doesn't bother me… I'm in the U.S. Senate.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Communication Government Politicians Speech

I miss being pampered.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government People Self

Truth varies.

Characteristics Government Honesty Murphy’s Laws Politics Truth

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.

Military Murphy’s Laws

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War

Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language’s most offensive C-word.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Congress Government

The presidential race continued to tighten up – in fact, according to some polls, John McCain is only 6 points behind Sarah Palin.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Elections/Voting TV/Movie Quotes

Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Presidency: The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Politics

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Law Things

Tracers work BOTH ways.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Government People Sports

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

(1883 – 1946) English economist
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Money

When there’s a single thief, it's robbery; when there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.

Crime Government Taxes

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

Definitions Lawyers

In the Bob Hope Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Government People

I have the perfect simplified tax form for government… why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Taxes