Subject: Government (Page 13)

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Anger Elections/Voting Emotions Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Communication Elections/Voting Government Speech

The best way to publicize a governmental or political action is to attempt to hide it.

Government Murphy’s Laws

If Voting Changed Anything, They’d Made It Illegal

Elections/Voting Signs

In the Bob Hope Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Government People

Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Democracy Education Government

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

About one-fifth of the people are against everything all the time.

Government Murphy’s Laws

In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the governor's office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author
Government

Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Government Health People

Politicians are people who get sworn in and cursed out!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Politicians

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

No taxation without regimentation.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Government Malaprops Taxes

The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Government Law Places

If you have the facts on your side, hammer the facts. If you have the law on your side, hammer the law. If you have neither the facts nor the law, hammer the table.

Facts Government Law Murphy’s Laws

[Charles Dickens] was the bravest man who ever lived; he fathered ten children before they became tax deductions.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Family Money Taxes

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Democracy Government Politics

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!

(1813 – 1864) American teacher & Union Army general in the Civil War
Death Government Military

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Politicians Speech Time

A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first person who answers the phone can’t help you.

Government

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work