Subject: Government (Page 15)

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

I wanted to join the Army… the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be'… they told me it wasn't enough.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Government Military

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty People Politics

How come we choose from just two people for president, and fifty for Miss America?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Government Politicians

The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

We all know that Prime Ministers are wedded to the truth, but like other married couples they sometimes live apart.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Government

Nixon is finding out there are no tails on an Eisenhower jacket.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Government Politics

Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.

Democracy Government Taxes

A good many people feel that our present draft laws are unjust; these people are called soldiers

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Military

Goembel John E. – 1867–1946 – "The defense rests."

Epitaphs Lawyers

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Age Government People

Rome had senators too, and that is why it declined.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Places Politicians

Tax Reform: Taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before.

Definitions Government Taxes

I don't care if she doesn't know how to cook – so long as she doesn't know a good lawyer.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Lawyers Marriage

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

He’s not technically a lawyer, but he’s got three court cases next week.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Law People

I belong to no organized party… I am a Democrat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians Politics Relationships

I don’t need a president with a bucket list!

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Government President

When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the plane will fly.

(1917 – 2004) American industrialist (Douglas Aircraft Company) & sportsman
Government

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Politicians