Subject: Government (Page 15)

People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.

businessman
Government Money Taxes

[Nixon staffer H.R.] Haldeman is the only man in America in this generation who let his hair grow for a courtroom appearance.

(1918 – 2004) journalist & columnist
Government

After last week’s preliminary hearing Saddam Hussein was asked if he needed anything while in custody; “Yes,” he said, “Michael Jackson’s lawyer.”

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Government Lawyers

Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Beliefs Government Intelligence Politics Stupidity

A jury is a group of twelve people of average ignorance.

(1820 – 1903) English philosopher
Government Intelligence Law People

Seb Coe is a Yorkshireman; so he's a complete bastard and will do well in politics.

British Olympic decathlon champion
Government Politics

It’s like carrying frogs in a wheelbarrow.

(1946 – ) British politician
Government Politics

Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up.

Military Murphy’s Laws

At this point we should just make it the 51st state: Welcome to Iraqachusetts: live free and die.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Conflict Government War

I rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University.

(1925 – 2008) American conservative author, commentator & television host
Government

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Conflict Government Military War

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America People President Success

With a black president, I can relax…I can dance in public… I can buy a whole watermelon now.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Characteristics Government President Situations

I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour; I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Elections/Voting Government

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession… and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

Astronomers have discovered two giant new solar systems, and with George W. Bush taking over the Presidency, it’s good to know we have options.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government President

Beware of and eschew pompous prolixity.

Communication Language Lawyers

All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Appearance Government Hair Murphy’s Laws President

America is still a land of promise, especially during a political campaign.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
America Government Places Politics

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

The spirit of public service will rise, and the bureaucracy will multiply itself much faster, in time of grave national concern.

Government Murphy’s Laws