Subject: Government (Page 16)

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
Communication Democracy Government

The politician is an acrobat; he keeps his balance by doing the opposite of what he says.

(1862 – 1923) French writer & politician
Communication Government Politicians

A Republican stands up in Congress and says I’ve got a really bad idea!' and the Democrat stands up after him and says 'and I can make it shittier!”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government Politicians

It’s not the voting that’s democracy, it’s the counting.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Government Marriage Politics

The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Government Law

I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Elections/Voting Government Intelligence President Stupidity

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be president, as long as your husband did it first.

American comedian
Government People President

In levying taxes and in shearing sheep it is well to stop when you get down to the skin.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Government Taxes

As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Conflict Military War

The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull.


(1893 – 1971) American statesman & lawyer
Government Occupations Work

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Emotions Government

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Language

The Canadian military is like Switzerland's… without the knife.

Canadian comedian & author
Canada Government

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it’s too much trouble putting make-up on two faces.

Australian comedian & actress
Characteristics Government People Politicians Women

If the law-makers make a compromise, the place where it will be felt most is the taxpayer’s pocket.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Language Politicians

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

The greatest thing the Democrats have ever done for me was to defeat me for the governor of Tennessee.

(1903 – 1992) country music singer, fiddler & promoter
Failure Government Politics

Convicted criminal: As God is my judge – I am innocent.

Birkett: He isn’t; I am, and you’re not!

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Government Law