Subject: Government (Page 18)

Perhaps we could have a translation, I could not quite follow.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Government

A bunch of bong-smoking, America-bashing, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites; these are the sensitive, liberal people who are always yelling about people's freedom of speech and expression, unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People Politics

Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest; if you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

Lawyers are operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.

(1939 – ) American financial journalist
Lawyers Occupations

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Language Politicians

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Politicians

[Charles Dickens] was the bravest man who ever lived; he fathered ten children before they became tax deductions.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Family Money Taxes

It’s a sad day when our politicians are comical and I have to take our comedians seriously!

Politics Signs

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Government Law

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Democracy Government People

I was never ruined but twice; once when I lost a lawsuit and once when I won one.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Government Law

A giant mechanism operated by pygmies.

(1799 – 1850) French novelist & playwright
Government

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Government Lawyers Occupations Work

The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue.

Military Murphy’s Laws

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Government People Women

I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Politicians

Presidency: The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Politics

Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t.

Definitions Government Military

I learned in business that you had to be very careful when you told somebody that’s working for you to do something, because the chances were very high he’d do it; in government, you don’t have to worry about that.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
Characteristics Government Occupations People Work