Subject: Government (Page 19)

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f**ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government

Politician: A fellow who borrows your pot in which to cook your goose.

Definitions Government Politicians

Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Government Health People

Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Fights Politics Time

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Government

Another such victory, and we are undone.

(318 – 272 BC) Greek general & statesman
Government Military

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians Truth

The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Never murder a man who is committing suicide.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics Situations

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare.

(1927 – 2003) American politician
Government Intelligence

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Elections/Voting Government

Foundation of a party signals the dissolution of the movement.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum; the plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Politics

The difference between Democrats and Republicans?… Democrats remind us that life is unfair, and Republicans make sure it is.

American comedian & writer
Government Politicians

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.

(1897 – 1972) Canadian prime minister
Government Politics

The more zeros found in the price tag for a government program, the less Congressional scrutiny it will receive.

Congress Government Money Murphy’s Laws

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

(1915 – 2002) Israeli diplomat & politician
Government History People Time

A candidate could easily commit political suicide if he were to come up with an unconventional thought during a presidential tour.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Death Government Politicians

Astronomers have discovered two giant new solar systems, and with George W. Bush taking over the Presidency, it’s good to know we have options.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government President