Subject: Government (Page 2)

Yesterday, the President met with a group he calls the coalition-of-the-willing; or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government

The weight of all of your equipment is proportional to the cube of the time you have been carrying it.

Military

Whatever goes us, stays up.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Starr Aghast At First Lady Sex Position

Government

The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family brokerage business.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government Money

A government survey reveals the prime minister is doing the work of two men… Laurel and Hardy.

(1930 – 2016) Scottish stand-up comedian, actor, writer & broadcaster
England Government

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Government Intelligence Politicians

When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Conflict Government War

In Scotland we have a verdict ‘not proven;’ that means ‘not guilty, but don’t do it again.’

Law Places

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

(1884 – 1933) American saloon keeper, actress & entrepreneur
Government Politicians

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

Having committed political suicide, the Conservative Party is now living to regret it.

(1944 – ) British politician, chancellor of Oxford & governor of Hong Kong
Government Politics

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Fights Politics Time

Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f**ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politicians

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

(c. 620 – 564 BC) Greek slave and author of over 600 fables
Conflict Government Politicians

Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Beliefs Government Intelligence Politics Stupidity

Lawsuit: A contest generally won by the party that can afford to reimburse the lawyers on both sides of the dispute.

Definitions Law Lawyers

There’s always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little – and it’s always somebody else.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Government Taxes