Subject: Government (Page 24)

No plan survives first contact intact.

Military Murphy’s Laws

When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Law President

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Government People Work

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America People President Success

There are two reasons for making an appointment; either there was nobody else; or there was somebody else.

(1902 – 1967) British cabinet secretary
Government

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Democracy Government

If anything can go wrong, it will do so in triplicate.

Government Murphy’s Laws Problems

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Intelligence Memory Politicians

The difference between a whore and a congressman is that a congressman makes more money.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Congress Government Sex

It’s better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six.

Conflict Crime Death Government Law Murphy’s Laws

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics

Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you’re a corporation, you’re a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you’re a moocher?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government Taxes

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Communication Law Speech

TSA agents look like they would have a hard enough time protecting their lunch money.

American comedian
Government

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession… and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer – not a book.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Lawyers Life

Democracy is the counting of heads, regardless of the contents.

Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent.

(1860 – 1921) U.S. senator (Pennsylvania)
Government Intelligence People

We all know this administration loves deleting history faster than Anthony Weiner when he hears footsteps.

(1985 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Politics

Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Government Taxes