Subject: Government (Page 26)

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Emotions Government Law Lawyers Marriage

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

Only one thing, is impossible for God; to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government Law

Bureaucrat: A person who cuts red tape sideways. 

Government People

The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little while longer.

Military Murphy’s Laws

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War

Logic and taxation are not always the best of friends.

(1862 – 1946) American jurist & Supreme Court justice
Government Taxes

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age Government Health Old

Whatever organization we try to create, it always ends up looking like the Communist Party.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Government Places

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government

Astronomers have discovered two giant new solar systems, and with George W. Bush taking over the Presidency, it’s good to know we have options.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Government President

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Government Laughter People

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Taxes

You get fifteen Democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.

(1940 – ) U.S. senator (Vermont)
Beliefs Opinion Politicians

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

Definitions Lawyers

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war… just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Clothing Conflict Government Military War

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

Communication Reading/Writing Taxes

Don’t look conspicuous – in the combat, it draws fire; out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Government Law Places

Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

When no viable candidate exists, someone will nominate a Kennedy.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians