Subject: Government (Page 26)

My definition of a redundancy is an air bag in a politician's car.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Definitions Government Politicians

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share to take.

Military Murphy’s Laws

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Democracy Government

Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Government Ideas Intelligence Politicians

Carter wants to go to Washington; he'll feel right at home there – he was raised on a nut farm.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government People Places

At this point we should just make it the 51st state: Welcome to Iraqachusetts: live free and die.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Conflict Government War

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Conflict Government Politics

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

TSA agents look like they would have a hard enough time protecting their lunch money.

American comedian
Government

How can you govern a country that has 246 varieties of cheese?

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Government Politics

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and be dumb enough to think it’s important.

(1916 – 2005) American politician & poet
Football Government Politics Sports

A communist is a socialist without a sense of humor.

Government

Bing (Crosby) doesn't pay income tax; he just calls the government and says, 'How much do you boys need?'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Taxes Wealth

My parents were very pleased that I was in the Army; the fact that I hated it somehow pleased hem even more.

(1934 – ) Australian comedian, satirist, artist, & author
Government Military

Judge: A law student who grades his own papers.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Definitions Law

Friendly fire – isn’t.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The climate of England has been the world’s most powerful colonizing impulse.

England Government Places Science/Weather

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Fools Government Intelligence World

If Voting Changed Anything, They’d Made It Illegal

Elections/Voting Signs

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Communication Government