Subject: Government (Page 26)

The best way to publicize a governmental or political action is to attempt to hide it.

Government Murphy’s Laws

I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government Law

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

The difference between a politician and a snail is that a snail leaves its slime behind.

Murphy’s Laws Politicians

The rich aren’t like us… they pay less taxes.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
People Taxes Wealth

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president… now I'm beginning to believe it.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Age Government President Young

Running for senator in New York is like bobbing for piranhas.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government New York City Places

If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Congress

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Congress Golf Government Sports

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Elections/Voting Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress’s role.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Congress Government

Politicians are people who get sworn in and cursed out!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Politicians

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers… they are obviously alcoholics.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Food/Drink Places Politicians

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Government President

Tea Bags are for D-Bags

Politics

Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

(1929 – ) journalist, author & television pundit
Government Politics President

The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Government Law Places

It’s better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six.

Conflict Crime Death Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians