Subject: Government (Page 30)

According to reports, President Bush and John Kerry have combined $23 million left over from the 2004 presidential campaign, while Ralph Nader recently discovered some old gum in his hair.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Elections/Voting Politicians TV/Movie Quotes

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? … if they don’t know their rights, they shouldn’t be in the business.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law

A jury is a group of twelve people of average ignorance.

(1820 – 1903) English philosopher
Government Intelligence Law People

A libertarian is just a Republican who takes drugs.

(1951 – ) American anarchist writer
Drugs Government People Politics

A lawyer is someone who writes a 40-page document and calls it a brief!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Law Lawyers

Queen: A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government People

Russian Communism is the illegitimate child of Karl Marx and Catherine the Great.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Government Places

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government Intelligence

The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue.

Military Murphy’s Laws

What is good politics is bad economics; what is bad politics is good economics; what is good economics is bad politics; what is bad economics is good politics.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

The more you read and observe about the Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politics

Politicians make strange bedfellows, but they all share the same bunk.


Government Politicians

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics Law

Justice is open to everyone in the same way as the Ritz Hotel.

(1740 – 1819) American lawyer, jurist & politician
Government Law

When no viable candidate exists, someone will nominate a Kennedy.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws

Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

When there’s a single thief, it's robbery; when there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.

Crime Government Taxes

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognize a good party man when I see one.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Politics

After last week’s preliminary hearing Saddam Hussein was asked if he needed anything while in custody; “Yes,” he said, “Michael Jackson’s lawyer.”

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Government Lawyers

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Elections/Voting Government Misspokements Speech