Subject: Government (Page 31)

Surprise is an event that takes place only in the mind of a commander.

Military Murphy’s Laws

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government

The worst part about politics is that you're always right and no one ever knows it."

Government Politics

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Government Money Poverty Taxes

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Government Politicians

ear IRS, Please remove me from your mailing list

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Government Taxes

The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Elections/Voting Government

Diplomacy: Lying in state.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Characteristics Government

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Government Places

All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is, he's the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Government People Situations

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians Work

I will feel equality has arrived when we can elect to office women who are as incompetent as some of the men who are already there.

daughter of President Ronald Reagan & Jane Wyman
Elections/Voting Government

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Politicians

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Golf Government Politics President Sports

Contract: An agreement that is binding only on the weaker party.

(1822 – 1891) U.S. senator (South Carolina)
Government Law

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Emotions Government Law Lawyers Marriage

If Voting Changed Anything, They’d Made It Illegal

Elections/Voting Signs

When I entered politics, I took the only downward turn you could take from journalism.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Politicians

The weight of all of your equipment is proportional to the cube of the time you have been carrying it.

Military

Capitol: The seat of misgovernment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government