Subject: Government (Page 31)

The taxpayer… that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the Civil Service examination.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress’s role.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Congress Government

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

An independent is a guy who wants to take the politics out of politics.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Beliefs Government Opinion Politics

Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.

(1938 – ) political commentator, author, columnist, politician & broadcaster
Insults Intelligence Politics

No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

Military

Mondale’s Offensive Looks Hard to Beat

Headlines Politicians

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

Military Murphy’s Laws

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Congress Government

Even the police have an unlisted number.

(1908 – 1996) actor & comedian
Government Hollywood Law Things

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
America Government Places Politics

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything; that points clearly to a political career.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Insults Politics

1. Always hire a rich solicitor.

2. Never buy from a rich salesman.

Lawyers Money Murphy’s Laws Wealth

Frankly, I don’t mind not being president; I just mind that someone else is.

(1932 – 2009) U.S. senator (Massachusetts)
Government President

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians Truth

The army with the smartest dress uniform will lose.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Government Law Lawyers People

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Government Money

A diplomat is a man who thinks twice before he says nothing.

(1822 – 1891) U.S. senator (South Carolina)
Characteristics Government

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Government People Work