Subject: Government (Page 32)

All battles are fought at the junction of two or more map sheets… printed at different scales.

Military Murphy’s Laws

If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Politicians President

After last week’s preliminary hearing Saddam Hussein was asked if he needed anything while in custody; “Yes,” he said, “Michael Jackson’s lawyer.”

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Government Lawyers

In Scotland we have a verdict ‘not proven;’ that means ‘not guilty, but don’t do it again.’

Law Places

Politicians are the same all over; they promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.

(1894 – 1971) Soviet premier
Government Politicians

A liberal is one who has both feet planted firmly in the air.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Beliefs Government

It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

Taxpayer: A person who has the government on his payroll.

Definitions Government Taxes

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
England Government Places

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.

(1928 – 1995) American artist
Government Politicians

Senatorial, governorial, mayororial

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Government Malaprops

I understand that Congress has taken the first step in the fight against air pollution: limiting the speeches to five minutes.

Congress Government

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government Politicians

Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.

Death Government Language Taxes

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty People Politics

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Art Democracy Government Science/Weather

TSA agents look like they would have a hard enough time protecting their lunch money.

American comedian
Government

Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government