Subject: Government (Page 32)

My grandmother’s brain was dead, but her heart was still beating; it was the first time we ever had a Democrat in the family.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Government Politics

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Government Places

The difference between a whore and a congressman is that a congressman makes more money.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Congress Government Sex

Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government Politicians

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language

Science Confirms: Politicians Lie

Headlines Politicians

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

You’ve got to execute people; how else are they going to learn?

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Government Law

You want a friend in Washington?… get a dog.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Age Friends Government People Places

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Politicians Poverty

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession… and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working honest Americans; it’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity… but then – we elected them.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Government Politicians

Politicians are like diapers; they both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

If a traveller were informed that such a man was the leader of the House of Commons, he might begin to comprehend how the Egyptians worshipped an insect.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Government Insults

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Law Opinion

I’m thrilled that the American people stopped him from running this time; as a citizen, I’m happy about that, but as a comic, I weep.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing.

(1619 – 1683) French statesman
Government Taxes

These guys from the nation's capital… now they do a lot of thinking.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Government Intelligence Thinking

Opinions on Our 44st President

Government Headlines President

Diplomat: If you have the advantage over someone, and you lead him to think that he has the advantage over you, without giving him the chance to take advantage of you.

Definitions Government

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Government Law