Subject: Government (Page 33)

Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.

Definitions Government Politicians

Traffic congestion increases in proportion to the length of time the street is supervised by a traffic control officer.

Autos Government Murphy’s Laws

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
America Democracy Elections/Voting Government Places War World

The first thing we do, let’s kill the lawyers.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Government Killing Law Lawyers

Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep

Military

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government

How can you govern a country that has 246 varieties of cheese?

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Government Politics

Nobody can ever learn our military's secrets — unless, you know, they happen to have the Discovery Channel… then, it's pretty easy, just tune in for a few minutes.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Government Military Television

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Politicians Speech Time

There is a statue of limitation.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Law Malaprops

All you need to be the Vice President is a blue suit and a pulse… and Dick Cheney has shown that you don’t even need the pulse.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government

The greatest thing the Democrats have ever done for me was to defeat me for the governor of Tennessee.

(1903 – 1992) country music singer, fiddler & promoter
Failure Government Politics

What does an actor know about politics?

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Government Health People

The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little while longer.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Running for senator in New York is like bobbing for piranhas.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government New York City Places

I often say after eight years in Washington, I longed for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Government Hollywood Places

My parents were very pleased that I was in the Army; the fact that I hated it somehow pleased hem even more.

(1934 – ) Australian comedian, satirist, artist, & author
Government Military

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Communication Government Politics

Never trust a private with a loaded weapon, or an officer with a map and compass.

Military Murphy’s Laws