Subject: Government (Page 37)

Under every stone lurks a politician.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Government Politicians

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

Military Murphy’s Laws

If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Arms Conflict Government Military Things War

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

Only the little people pay taxes.

(1920 – 2007) American billionaire businesswoman & real estate investor
Government Taxes

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
President Television

He’s not technically a lawyer, but he’s got three court cases next week.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Law People

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

Latins for Republicans… it’s like roaches for Raid.

(1964 – ) Colombian-American actor, producer, playwright & screenwriter
Government People Politics

According to reports, President Bush and John Kerry have combined $23 million left over from the 2004 presidential campaign, while Ralph Nader recently discovered some old gum in his hair.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Elections/Voting Politicians TV/Movie Quotes

Incoming fire has the right-of-way.

Military Murphy’s Laws

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government People Situations Things

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Government Places

The Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem; they're all running for the presidency.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government President

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

A liberal’s generosity is only limited by your income.

Beliefs Government

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government

When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

Ideas Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.

typographer
Government