Subject: Government (Page 38)

Reality Has A Well-Known Liberal Bias

Politics

Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government

You get fifteen Democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.

(1940 – ) U.S. senator (Vermont)
Beliefs Opinion Politicians

When the president, during the campaign, said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.

(1951 – ) U.S. senator (Minnesota), political commentator, comedian & writer
Government President

When the Republicans read the Constitution on the House floor, that's the first time ever that Republicans read something that wasn't written by a lobbyist.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Communication Government Speech

Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Government Ideas Intelligence Politicians

Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Conflict Government Politics

Washington is a place where men praise courage and act on elaborate personal cost-benefit calculations.

(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist
Government Places

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

(1884 – 1933) American saloon keeper, actress & entrepreneur
Government Politicians

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Government Law

No one ever carries too much ammo.

Military

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

Automatic weapons – aren’t.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Some of our folks went to Washington to drain the swamp and made partnership with the alligators instead.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Government

What's black and white and brown and looks good on a lawyer? … a Doberman.

(1931 – 2001) Canadian author, screenwriter & essayist
Animals Dogs Insults Lawyers

What I need is a lawyer who specializes in the law of the jungle.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Government Law Lawyers

The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
1. When you’re ready for them. 2. When you’re not ready for them.

Military Murphy’s Laws