Subject: Government (Page 38)

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government Politicians

A communist is a socialist without a sense of humor.

Government

A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Crime Government Money

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

(1713 – 1784) French philosopher, art critic & writer
Government

Seb Coe is a Yorkshireman; so he's a complete bastard and will do well in politics.

British Olympic decathlon champion
Government Politics

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Democracy Government

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Characteristics Government Politicians

All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains

Food/Drink Military Murphy’s Laws

These days, the only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other a liar.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Truth

The presidential race continued to tighten up – in fact, according to some polls, John McCain is only 6 points behind Sarah Palin.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Elections/Voting TV/Movie Quotes

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

American comedian
Food/Drink Government

Bureaucracy: A system that enables ten men to do the work of one.

Definitions Government

In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children murdered.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Government Places

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is, he's the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Government People Situations

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Entertainment Government Military Music Places

Justice is open to everyone in the same way as the Ritz Hotel.

(1740 – 1819) American lawyer, jurist & politician
Government Law

Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.

Death Government Language Taxes