Subject: Government (Page 40)

Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Government People Places Politicians

Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Democracy Elections/Voting Government

If law school is so hard to get through… how come there are so many lawyers?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education Government Law Lawyers School

Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest; if you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements

Communism is like one big phone company.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Government

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Democracy Government

The wages of sin are unreported.

Government Taxes

Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government

Bureaucrats are the only people in the world who can say absolutely nothing and mean it.

(1925 – 2010) American humorist & writer
Government

Convicted criminal: As God is my judge – I am innocent.

Birkett: He isn’t; I am, and you’re not!

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Government Law

The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue.

Military Murphy’s Laws

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago, because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Places Politics

The climate of England has been the world’s most powerful colonizing impulse.

England Government Places Science/Weather

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Congress Government Time

If God, as some now say, is dead, He no doubt died of trying to find an equitable solution to the Arab-Jewish problem.

(1907 – 1989) American writer
Beliefs God Government

Your honor, may I encroach the bench?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Law Malaprops

The more zeros found in the price tag for a government program, the less Congressional scrutiny it will receive.

Congress Government Money Murphy’s Laws

Seb Coe is a Yorkshireman; so he's a complete bastard and will do well in politics.

British Olympic decathlon champion
Government Politics